Art Blog: Mad Scientist, Mad Artist!

First, let me get this straight. I am a happy person. Some might think after reading this blog, I am negative. Nothing could be more untrue. In fact, I am a realist. I don’t live in a Pollyanna world and only express my gumdrop and rainbow thoughts online. I tell it like it is. I am honest. I think we can use more of the truth lately. Therefore, if you think I am a downer, don’t read this blog. It is that simple.

Ever since I started this blog a few years ago, my mission was to express my every day thoughts in a truthful manner. Nobody I know has a great day, week, month, or year, all the time. NOBODY. If someone is online and only talks about their cushy, kitten fur life, I think they are either a liar or in denial. I am neither.

All this crap going on in my life right now is such a bad thing but it is a good thing too. After doing research this weekend on topics such as emotional survival and maintaining sanity during hard times, I came across a simple line of text that really hit me hard. It said something like

“While you are dealing with traumatic life circumstances, it might be difficult, but you will learn a lot too.”

I read that and read it again. I responded “YES!”

Today after doing some house chores, I started working on an upcoming project I am planning for a couple of my classes. I am doing a science experiment and having the students interpret the results via art. I am not only going to do the experiment, but I am dressing up like a MAD SCIENTIST with lab coat, goggles, gloves, and my own MESSY hair! While gathering all the supplies for the experiment and art project, I realized this reminds me so much of when I was an “artist-in-the-schools”. Back then, I was a “free agent” and would go visit schools to work with the kids as an artist. I would plan and plan and go all out back then. I would love making the presentations a performance. I am back to doing that again. I LOVE IT!

I never intended to teach. That was never my goal. Being an artist-in-residence was the thing that made me realize I was so good at art instruction. This is how I got from that point A to this point B. So due to my current situation, I am learning. I am making adjustments. I am finding what I love to do all over again.
Now does that sound negative? Far from it!



I love prepping for silly, but exciting art projects. I love making memories for kids. They DO remember too!!!

Art Blog: “Looky Looky Loo!”

I will admit it. I am in a really bad mood right now. LOL LOL LOL I am trying so hard to be optimistic. I am looking for the bright side every minute of every day. I am analyzing every move I make. Art wise, I have been distressed because things just aren’t happening the way I want them to happen. I am being overrun by an inventory of just too much art and too few shows. I have all kinds of weird thoughts about this. (Right Gilda?) I just don’t know what to think, what to do, or how to handle life right now.

I know things are changing. This is a good thing and a bad thing all at the same time. I am scared out of my wits. I need to change jobs. However when you have worked at the same place for sixteen years, it is very hard to even imagine yourself doing different things. My art room at school has a cobalt blue floor. I have always joked, “I will die on that blue floor!” Yes, Sheree will just flop over and someone will have to call for help. "YEP, SHE IS DEAD on the blue floor." Now I realize I will not die on the blue floor. I am going to have to leave this room before I die. This is kind of sad to me. I know. That is a weird thing to say, but it is true.

One small change this year is I have to divide my time with another school. When I was told I had to travel and teach at another school, I felt traumatized. Then when I found out I would have to teach a couple of classes with kindergarteners and third graders, the trauma doubled! I am not a fan of being a teacher of lower elementary kids. Yes, they are cute as a button and oh so energetic. However, I prefer to teach students who have the capability to understand concepts and art ideas and then run with it. Little kids can’t do that yet.

But we have to do what we have to do. I am kind of desperate at the moment. I have to take what is given. I want out of my current job so much, I just ran with it. I have been teaching these tiny tikes for a bit more than a month now. It has been such a bizarre experience. I have begun to realize this is one of my life lessons. These kids act like I am the best thing since peanut butter. Over the years, I have developed all kinds of silly tag lines to get kid's attention. For example, I might say “HERE IS THE SCOOPEROONI!” or “LOOKY LOOKY LOO”. When I say these stupid things, kids know to look at me and pay attention.

This week, I was waiting for my kindergarten class outside the art room. I saw them coming as they walked in a uniform line towards me. The first little girl ran ahead and grabbed me around my waist. She looked up into my eyes and said “LOOKY LOOKY LOO”. My heart melted. I realized this little kid has listened to me and remembered me to the point she can mimic my silly words. I realized that everything we do in this life is important. That little girl will probably remember Looky Looky Loo for a very long time. It is such a simple thing. Yet is important to her and it is important to me. I realize I do have value and I am important in her eyes. She is important to me too!



This is one example of a simple project being created by my kindergarten class. We are studying the “SENSES” and creating a book. This is just one “TOUCH” page. I want to show this because these kids have “touched” me.

Art Blog: Sheree is so QUIET (?)

Art Blog: The SYSTEM

This weekend, I watched a couple of hours of BookTalk featuring Dr. Temple Grandin. She is autistic, a prolific writer, scholar, and wise woman.



I have been a fan of hers for years. It could be because I have been the teacher of hundreds of students with autism. However, I also relate to her because her story relates so much to my own. When she speaks about her life and how she perceives things, I always understand. I am not autistic, but I see the world in “pictures” too. I have never been a left brain achiever. My left brain skills have been honed and learned the hard way. I have always taken the initiative to practice my left brain skills over and over again. It has never come naturally.

As I watch Dr. Grandin interact with people, it reminds me of me. Some think I am gregarious. This is so wrong. It is all an act. I fake it. I hate social interaction. This is why I have never collected friends or had wonderful relationships. I love being alone all by myself. That is just fine with me. I hate mingling and small talk. I just don’t get either. I see mouths moving. I hear noises surrounding me. I want to shrink and run away. Often, I space out in social situations. I don’t feel bad about this. I just want to go home so I can think. That is what makes me happy.

Similarly, I have dealt with a lifetime of fighting feeling like a dummy. In 3rd grade, I was given a label. I was in the “Blue Bird” reading group. Other kids laughed. That was the reading group for dummies. Well, I have eleven years of college under my belt now. I would have more if I won the lottery and could finish my Ph.D. So who is a dummy? My mind is sound. It is the way I was taught that was faulty. BTW. I don’t blame the teachers either. I am one. I see the system as the culprit.

Today there was an “Academic Awards” ceremony at school. It is called the “3.0 Club”. I scurried around trying to finish my classes so I could attend. I had made certificates for some of my students. Each certificate read “For EXCELLENCE in ART!” When I ran into the assembly, certificates in hand, I realized some of my excellent students were not invited. You see, they were not on the honor roll. OH. I see. In other words, I saw this assembly as a celebration of left brain thinkers. Oh my. My bad. I misunderstood.

You would think I would be an educational system cheerleader. Rah! Rah! Rah! I am not. There are just too many things wrong with the system. Despite volumes of research and data, we still don’t get it. Our society is in a rut. We don’t think outside of the box. I can’t speak for her, but I would guess Dr. Grandin would agree. We are not creative in our pursuit of excellence. We don't value or take into consideration individual talents. We don’t see the forest for the trees.

This is so sad to me.


“School Uniforms”
Sheree Rensel
Acrylic on Canvas/Mixed Media
8” X 10”
Click pic for detailed view

Art Blog: Technicolor!

I know for sure some of you will not understand this post. That is OK. Maybe you can glean information from my experience. I remember when we watched TV and movies in black and white. I remember this because I lived through it.

I have a feeling the movie “Wizard of Oz” will be the subject of many of my future posts. It seems I have come to the conclusion this movie is like a metaphor for my life. I have known that for a long time. Check out my ”Emerald City” installation at the Michigan Gallery back in the 80’s.

I have always related to Dorothy. She was on a quest for truth and self realization. I respect this and relate to it wholeheartedly. Lately, these thoughts, beliefs, and sensations have been coming to the surface full force. It doesn’t surprise me.
In the past ten months, I have had a hard time. One thing after another has happened. Yes, my dog died as many of you know. However, his death was just one thing added to a mix of hellish events. Being a depressive by nature, I am actually shocked I am still able to type this.

The only thing that keeps me going right now is my art and an unexpected job change. Every Wednesday, I have to travel and teach another school population. This is so strange, but true to me. I have worked at the same place for 16 years. This new situation boggles my mind. However, I truly believe the UNIVERSE gave me this change to make me see life in Technicolor again. In other words, I have seen life in past months in values of white, gray, and black. It hasn’t been a pretty world. When I was driving home yesterday from my other job, I saw things in color again. It was just like when Dorothy opened the door leading to Munchkin Land. The sensation took me aback. I felt it. As I drove the streets of downtown Saint Petersburg, I saw color again. TECHNICOLOR!

I guess this is just a simple message to all of you who experience depression. I want to tell you that no matter how terrible you feel at any given moment, some tiny thing can happen and change all of your perceptions. There is HOPE! You can and will see the world in TECHNICOLOR again.
I know. I have.


Just wait. The world will be colorful and bright again. It will!
You just have to be patient.

Art Blog: Twitter ART Fun!!!

This is a silly post. However, I had to share it with you. I bought a shirt off “ZAZZLE”. It is my very own TWITTER art follower shirt. They took SOME of my followers and printed their Twitter icons on the shirt. Here it is:


This is the whole shirt. OK, but………..look closer at the detail view!


The front shows a grid of some of my Twitter followers with my Twitter name above the grid. COOL!

Now, here is the flip side. I LOVE THE BACK!!

Is this cool or what? LOVE IT!!
FUN STUFF!!!!!

Art Blog: Gambler / That RISK

I have mentioned often how I love getting older. I really do. I feel far more secure and understand my world far more clearly than decades ago. I have said many times how I would not want to be 20 or 30 years old again. However, I realized this week how there are advantages to being young. Besides the obvious attributes like youth and vitality, I remember when I would take risks without a second thought. Now, I hesitate, deliberate, postpone, and haggle with myself when I contemplate any kind of action or behavior that is remotely risky. Why?

I was working on my website this week after scanning some slides of past work. I wanted this old work to be on my website, so I can see the progression of my art life. After finishing a page showing “Gambler / That Risk”, I just sat there and stared at that piece like I had never seen it before. I remember my life when I created this work. I was poor as dirt. I had a preschool daughter. We rented a ghetto, studio apartment. We lived hand to mouth. I thought nothing of quitting one job and trying to find another. Yep. I was footloose and fancy free. I even had the NERVE to apply and attend a month long residency in Vermont. I shipped the kid over to her paternal grandmother and got on a plane with only nickels in my pocket. What was I thinking? Ironically, that was probably one of the best months of my life. At that time, I didn’t even see it as a risk.

Fast forward to now: I don’t think I would ever do anything like that now. I am paralyzed with fear. I would worry about this and that and everything else. My house? My job? Money? What if? What if? What if? This part of getting older is very boring and frustrating.

Now, I feel I have too much to lose.

Chapter 5 of the “The Joy Diet” by Martha Beck challenges readers with exercises to promote risk taking. I NEED to do this work in the worst way. However, I am so filled with anxiety right now, it is difficult for me to think clearly, let alone tackle new and foreign ground. To be honest, I am having such a hard time dealing with the status quo, I feel like if I twitch wrong, I am going to implode! As I read the chapter, I became more anxious with each paragraph. My internal mind tape is blasting my brain. Right now, negative self talk is on full volume constantly. I have been in this mental state before but never to this magnitude.

This current inner turmoil, angst, and adverse reaction to the “Risk” chapter are all related. My emotional psyche is screaming at me right now because this is exactly what I need to do. It is time to let go of this mantra of fear “What if?” and embrace a new anthem:
“What if I don’t?”


“Gambler / That Risk”
Sheree Rensel
Mixed Media
48” x 20” x 24”
Click pic for detailed view